SNO businesslike SNO businessthere's SNO businessIknow!

Hey bloggerati
It's been some serious time since my last blog and, as you can imagine, lots has happened but I don't want to re-live it here(because it wasn't always the best fun!) and bore you all senseless so I will bullet point it for you to get you upto date:

* Quit my job
* Got new (temp) job within a week
* Old job tried to screw me over several times
* That should all be settled by next week and I am RELIEVED I'm out now
(it's like when you split with someone and then question if you did the right thing then they flip out and go mental and suddenly there's no doubt anymore)
* I've had a chest infection and ear infection simultaneously and only took 1 day off exercise (I know I have a problem)
* I was proposed to 8 times at the new work's Christmas do by a hammered guy who had just been made redundant, much to the amusement of the others
* I've not been able to get to see my family this Christmas break due to the white stuff (snow, not my lactose intolerance)
* Last ballet of the year involved joining with the advanced class and it was A-MAZING
* I have had a short series of riding lessons with a new teacher who is incredibly good and abusing me loudly until I ride like a pro

That about covers it; some good, some bad, some appeared bad and turned out to be good.

The current day theme running through my life, and a sentence I've said three times just today is: IF THIS JOB GOES PERMANENT I'M GOING TO... [and now here's a list of my future plans should this job turn permanent like I hope]:

* start the post-grad in surveying at the College of Estate Management in September (2 and a half years until Chartered Surveyor status!)
* move the hell out and back to the northern side of town! :D shared house = new friends = exciting new things
* start ballet 2 times a week (Thursday class is so much more brutal)
* start a yoga class to supplement the yoga I do at home
* visit home again
* visit Liverpool and stay in a nice hotel for the weekend and party with Andy and Chris and anyone else about!
* have a weekend with my mum in Bath (the place, not just in the bath; it'd be weird and cramped and besides, it'd get cold pretty quickly. I can see it now; paramedics trying to wedge us both out of the tub with crowbars...)- she suggested it the other day so we can spend some time together and I'd really love to be able to afford it plus we could go to the Thermae Bath Spa and bubble around in the hot water on the roof looking over the beautiful city :)

...so much I want to do :) I hope my new job pulls through and gets me on board permanently as I really do want a contract - I want a pension, some job security, a SALARY and to be working towards something :)

running is more boring than watching paint dry

don't get me wrong; I'm a runner, but you have to admit at least with paint you can see a change. I am just miserable because I had to run today and it was a bit grim (although I ran fine) because I later became quite ill with a virus.
Anyway! I digress! So much has happened since my last, albeit boring, blog! I quit my job under the pressure of the meeting I mentioned and left immediately; that really affected me as I didn't get to say goodbye to people I had worked with for 15 months and really adored, although I've since emailed to say my goodbyes.
I did let myself have that night to feel really, epically sorry for myself but then after then I've been super-motivated; the result of which is I've managed to get a temp job doing the same role for the money I wanted from the original place AND they're getting a permanent position lined up and if they like me I will be in a great place to earn it :)
Watch this space!
[photo of me in the awful wind and rain taking the dogs out on day 1 of unemployment!]

life is currently utter crap

Apologies in advance that this isn't the happy-go-lucky blog it really should be; I've lessened the blow with this rather epic photo of Dewy, one of our finches, flying about the avairy and looking very impressive. He's a lightback zebra finch.
So yeah, life's crap. I went to the GP today and she's sending me to a caridologist because that weird thing my heart did last week, well, apparently that sounds pretty serious.
In addition to the stress-related heart complaint, I have a rather badly-timed meeting with HR tomorrow at work; this has come after my most recent email where I said if they're looking to find a solution then I'll meet, but otherwise don't waste our time and give me my P45 (I actuallt wrote that; I must've been drunk, only I don't drink...)Perhaps I should keep an eye on my heart tomorrow :/
There is a silver lining though, or a little ray of sunshine if you will; I rode the most amazing mare ever on the weekend. She was so brilliant. I am completely in love... <3 sigh...

Hallow'een Epic Win

Hello everyone :) I hope you all had a brilliant Hallow'een and Bonfire Night and all your prospective animals have recovered from the bangs and lights. I had a great hallow'een in Liverpool as mystique (see photo!); it was possibly the best night out I've ever had and potentially the most bizarre, risque outfit (barely anything) I've ever risked going out in! It was absolutely worth the 4 hours it took to get ready; if anyone out there is thinking of using liquid latex, let me know if you've any questions.
Sorry this is a short blog today, but it's late and I've a rotten cold and work tomorrow so...until next time :) x

hunting out my business

Evening folks - sorry it has been some time since my last blog.
First things first - Title explanation: I've been following a CF's mobility blog and he comes out with some absolute corker sayings, me and the bf have been having fun quoting him.
Things have not gone so great for me since my last blog. Work persisted in their corporate policy and refused my suggestion so I have replied to say I am out of possible solutions to aid my remaining in my career with them, as I simply cannot afford to live and they won't help me or let me help myself. I've said I'll stay here (L'town) and finish the course but will not enrol onto their degree course and waste their money, unless they had a solution for me. If they didn't, I said I would understand if they felt they had to let me go. It really saddens me that's how my 2nd real job from education has fallen - they say god helps those who help themselves - if that's the case there's no deities in HR. Either way, I cannot hang about hoping some self-inflated concept of ultimate power, or God for that matter, to help me out; in the interim I have been job hunting and applying for anything I could practically do, for money I could practically live on: it's a short term view but my long-term planning hasn't been working out so good. You're just going to have to sweat this one out with me, I'm afraid: work haven't replied in 2 days since I challenged them to fire me for breaching my terms of employment (in legal jargon) - I can't imagine what the hold up is but it's torturing me nevertheless (perhaps that's the goal). I'll let you know after I pick myself up again how it all unfolds.
In other news, I have been having riding lessons (you might've noticed) and I can't stop now: I have so much time to catch up on, so many stirrup-less trots to endure to get my seat back again. The hunger for an equine-child is as strong as it was when I was 10, writing "Christmas List. A Horse. Thank you Santa", which is undoubtedly making the bf nervous.
Taking the short-term view on life, which is so unnatural to me, I am excited and nervous for HALLOW'EEN (or old hallow's eve, if you will) tomorrow night (it's not technically tomorrow night, but that's when we're venturing to the mighty K in our finest). I know for a fact I am not the only person this bothers, but isn't it just infuriating how Hallow'een and Bonfire Night - two of the greatest annual events of the year, are overlooked for possibly one of the most depressing, miserable, grim, gravy-soaked holidays (whom I shall not utter the name of until December)? Anyway, why the nerves you say? I am an ambitious and somewhat wreckless character by nature, call it a rebellion against my otherwise saffy-like personality, and I unwisely endeavoured to do an amazing costume without thoroughly thinking through the difficulties and, well frankly - exposure. I've decided to go as Mystique of X-Men fame. If you don't know, google/bing/search engine of your choice. I will put up a photo when I get one - I imagine something absolutely horrendous will happen and I'll end up exposed to a whole nightclub of happy rockers, but every blue liquid latex outfit has a silver lining - at least it'll make good blogging material.

What are you going out in on all hallow's eve when the veil between the living and the dead is at its most finest?

I'm not homosexual, but...

What I meant to say was homophobic.
So how are we all in October? Enjoying the crisp atmosphere and the promise of Christmas-card scenery or still moaning that the flies have all died on the window sills and that it's not too hot to sleep anymore?
I had a fantastic birthday (see inset of ridiculously hot 27 year old - I've decided to use my age as a way of making my appearance even better: "wow - you look great! you're really 27?" as opposed to "you're only 27? oh, gosh"). A lot more people came than I thought would and there was the added bonus that everyone seemed to get on really well even though noone knew each other :) epic success all round. I danced until my feet throbbed, which is always a sign of a good night.
After the brief, fleeting moment of enjoyment my life remembered itself, readjusted, and became hell again.
In a nutshell (admittedly a big one, like a conker...conkers are nuts, right?) gossip at work happened again and it really acted as the straw on a camel's back. I spoke to my mentor at work and had an offer to lay into the culprit royally, but I chose to do it myself (I quite enjoy assault). Ontop of that, my finances are looking sicker and sicker by the month. We're going to ask for help again from work, but they're making redundancies and they didn't help much last time so I don't fancy my chances: I applied for a new job yesterday too and made a genuine effort in the application, despite it breaking my heart to consider giving up my career I love so much. I'll keep you posted. I just really hate when things get to a point where you can't do anything to help yourself.
In other news, I have hastily compiled an army of vitamin-armoured white blood cells and dispatched them in their droves to fight a rebel coup of viruses. At the moment my troups are well fed and are packing so the odds are on them winning, although currently they have some leg work to go. Until then, as their general, I feel it is vital that I get my beauty sleep so that I look good when it comes to chiselling my statue when we have victory.
Signing out...x

the one in which I have 5 kids...

If you're a regular reader, you'll remember the one in which I aged 10 years in 30 minutes and you'll see where this blog is going.
I don't know why I seem to be getting strangers saying these things to me, apart from that they must genuinely believe that's who I am. I am going to puzzle, and let's face it - obsess, about these snap judgements for a long time.
Today I spent a good 30 minutes in a large popular supermarket, buying lots of treats to make buns and things to take to work (if it's your birthday the cakes are on you - mine isn't until Wednesday, but the guys aren't in then so I'm taking them tomorrow). I went to the bakery section and thought I'd order a few bits just in case my cornflake and rice cake chocolate bun things went horribly wrong (read that: accidentally eaten). I ordered 5 gingerbread biscuit things and a brownie for the bf - the baker said "any colours?" and I said "yeah, doesn't matter" and he replied "you sure? there won't be fights at the other end? at least you get the brownie"
HE THOUGHT I HAD 5 KIDS AND NEEDED A BROWNIE TO GET THROUGH THE DAY.
The nearest thing I have to mothering anything is when I walk the bf's parent's friend's dog (see inset - Me and Molly). I don't know why I look 30-something, married and with 5 kids; maybe it's all the healthy exercise, good diet and avoiding alcohol and smoking that ages me horribly. Maybe the 40-odd core reps I did last night made me look like I'd had 5 kids or the 90-something weighted squats I did tonight made my ass look like I had a brownie a day.
There really is no hope - if you're early twenties or younger, reading this and thinking 30 is miles away! I am always going to look young - I won't look old and wrinkly until my 50's - YOU'RE WRONG.
I am going to smart about this for a long time :/

Sky

So I didn't win the Euromillions jackpot yesterday; no-one did, which was a bit annoying because when it's that much money a rollover is just stupid: it's more money than any one person could ever need or spend.
Fortunately for me, this little grey mare made me feel today like I'd won the lottery. Meet Sky, a pretty grey mare with numb sides and who can pull a disgusted face better than my mum. Our instructor thought we were well suited and I got my first positive feedback when she said today was the best she'd seen Sky go :)
I did have a couple of painful moments today; one when taking my stirrups away, I rolled my leg back and felt my hip sublux and realised that it has done that many times before when I rode my mare and I'd just thought everyone got that. Hell, maybe they do.
The other painful moment came driving in tandem to tescos with the bf to get food for tea and petrol in our cars (no, not the difficulty in driving when your knees won't go together after riding without stirrups); I had a brief and sad little cry for the memory of my beautiful mare.
It was still a brilliant hour, riding Sky though :) and I am proud I rode her well :) It's all coming back to me - every last thing.

Let's play "If I won the lottery"!

Hi guys. I hope you've had a good week so far and have something lined up over the weekend that'll make you smile. Today I heard at work that the Euromillions* is £82,000,000.00 tonight. That's all the encouragement I need to spend a pound on a ticket and I bet I'm not the only one.
So driving home I was daydreaming about what I'd do with the £82M. Here's what came to mind...
> The first thing I'd do is book a first class ticket to Australia for my mum. Then I'd call her and tell her to quit her job and pack her bags. My mum has a close relative in Aus that she really needs to be with and I would want to help as soon as possible.
> The second thing I'd do is advertise for a live-in carer for my sister - I imagined interviewing them and they'd be a young friendly woman that my sis really liked. Then I'd work with the sis to find the perfect house wherever she wanted to live and we'd do the whole place over to make it super well suited to her every whim. I'd get a car that suited her and the carer could take her to appointments. She'd have an art studio and anything she needed medically. We'd work together to get her some stuff to make her life much rosier, and some treats too - that's where that one gets vague as I'd have to ask her!
> I thought what I'd do for the other sister - but she seems to have everything. Perhaps bank accounts for the nieces? I'd have to ask.
> and finally on to me. What'd I do? Well, I'd not tell anyone for a start. No-one at work; which leads me on to: I'd keep my crappy low-paid high-workload job. I know you don't believe me but I really would - I love my job and the challenge. I'd need to know I could make it on my own still; I'd still need a reason to wake in a morning; I'd not want to become spoilt - I'd still get up at 5.30am to go to Walsall for a 3-hour meeting and spend weeks in dodgy student accommodation in Liverpool.
> There's a plus side to not telling anyone at work - I can buy a stunning f-off mustang and drive it on weekends and carry on in our little Clio at work like a superhero with an alter-ego.
> I'd buy a little house near work (with a big garage) and a bigger house further out into the countryside. I'd stay near work when I was in the office and in the big house on weekends or holidays or whenever.
> which leads me neatly onto my friend - I'd invite Sammy to come and live with me in one of the houses free of charge so she could find a job and save up and we'd have a great time :)
> I'd also pay off all my debts - that'd feel amazing!
> I'd get a horse and 2 jack russells. And a Land Rover Defender for the stables. I'd keep my horse at the stables I ride at now so I could have lessons and work on dressage together.
> I'd be able to shop in All Saints! :D That'd be amazing. And I'd get my hair done more often instead of waiting 6 months, trimming split ends with kitchen scissors because I can't afford to get it cut. And each year I'd plan an amazing holiday somewhere different each time :)

Ah, I love this game. Most of the things I want are for other people - at least, those are my first wants. With £82M I'd barely have enough time to get through everything I'd want to do for everyone. I'd be busy as hell but man alive, I'd enjoy it.

What'd you do if you won?

* http://www.national-lottery.co.uk/player/p/lotterydrawgames/euromillions.ftl

Do I look like a CHUMP?

Today has not been a good day! First I had a huge 4x4 driven by a stoney-faced 50-something man almost bump me off the road by driving well over 50mph through my 30mph village, then I had some stumpy, ugly stocky bitch push in front of me at the supermarket, who said (when I pointed out I was already queing) "I'm sorry, I don't think so". The other day, me and the bf were stood behind a man at a cash point and another man walked up and stood nearby too; then when the first man finished at the cash point, walked in and took our place! As ignorant and arrogant as that! The bf, who is incredibly genteel, just said it was OK: I walked away in fury to another cash point around the corner and said I had to otherwise I'd have started a fight.
There must be something about me that says "this girl is a pushover"; I am not a pushover! I AM NOT A CHUMP! And the next person who is so arrogant, obnoxious and plain selfish is going to find out I am not above punching someone, either! >:\

I think what really gets to me is these ugly (inside and out) people are parading around with a self-inflated ego and obtuse level of self importance, when I am shuffling about apologetically feeling inferior.

If I had my own horse again, I'd trample them all; the photo inset to this angry blog is Froggy a French endurance arab, making me feel just a little empowered again. Thanks, Froggy x

get back on the horse

Not a lot of people know the real origin of that phrase; it isn't too difficult to decipher, but until it's relevant to you literally, you won't really know how good a piece of advice it actually is. You see, when you fall off a horse badly (and badly can mean injured, shocked, traumatised or just surprised but unbruised) it is imperative that the first thing you do is jump right back on again; any hesitation whatsoever can let in fear and doubt. If you jump right back on, it seems to breeze past the realisation of your morality and gets you back to the job at hand. Until you're covered in mud and blood, shaking and gripping stiff leather reins with a fired up animal on the end of them, you just don't know how difficult it is to convince your jelly-like body that the best thing for it is to return to the saddle that evicted it so cruelly. The worst part is the confidence and sensation of safety being on a horse gave you vanishes immediately.
So - why get back on the horse? Why is it so urgent? Because if you don't do it now, when the tears are threatening and your limbs are aching, you never will.
I put down my beautiful, stunning mare almost 4 years ago now and since then I could count the number of times I've ridden on one hand (this coming from someone who has ridden weekly at a bare minimum for 20 years). Losing Buttie was the most painful thing I have had to endure (and that's not to make light of the rest). I rode last weekend on Sunday; the bf has got me a few lessons as a present. I rode the delectable Tosca [see inset] with willing spirit and weak flesh.

It was the single most wonderful thing I have done in 4 years: it was the single most painful thing I've done in 4 years.

As I type, I have to confess, I am biting back tears of recollection. Time doesn't heal pain and loss, it merely allows you to forgive yourself for not mourning it repeatedly. I wish I had had the time and money to continue riding, because every time I do (that handful of times) I remember her and miss her as freshly as the day she died.

So that is why you always get back on the horse; because the longer you leave it the harder it becomes.

sugar is NOT my friend

So a while back I blogged to you about my NO SUGAR CHALLENGE (I feel the need to add a little gravitas to the title) and I managed to keep that up for months and this weekend I fell off the wagon. Hard. The absolute crap it has made me feel like has inspired me to write a little bit about why sugar is so bad and why I should start the NO SUGAR CHALLENGE MONTH again from tomorrow (last time it started as a month and then just carried on; I like this method as indefinitely just seems too much but at the end of a month your eating habits have just changed - it's all psychological). First things first - I forgive myself for munching those sugary treats this weekend; I am considering it a break from sanity and healthy eating!

The thing that I was most asked about, when I mentioned the NO SUGAR CHALLENGE in the blog discussion wall coffee shop thingy, was how do I avoid sugar. Most people, if not all, considered it completely impossible - so let me briefly explain how I avoid sugar.
1) I eat fresh fruit and veg (a bit of a cliche these days) wherever possible
2) I exchange sugary items with no-sugar alternatives (beware of "low fat" anything - usually they're loaded with sugar); my example of this is switching my soya milk for light soya milk, which has no sugar
3) When I have items of processed food, such as cereal, I eat completely sugar free such as rice puffs by rude foods instead of rice krispies.
4) Snacks, which I have between every meal, are usually cashew nuts (just a few) or some fruit (apple, banana, a smoothie - fruit sugars are essential!)
- and a new rule I have added after this weekend -
5) avoid bakeries at all costs

Motivation for why it's a good idea to cut out processed sugars can be found in all the reasons why sugar is bad for you...

1) Sugar is calories - fat in the human body is laid down from sugar intake, and not from fat intake.
2) Sugar in any quantity alters your blood sugar levels and causes your glands to work overtime to balance this out; sugar highs inevitably lead to sugar lows; these lows make you feel hungry when you're not and, in the case of me this weekend, cause you to visibly shake!
3) Sugar is addictive; once I've munched a little bit I have to have more. I don't know any other food that has that effect on me.
4) There are a wide variety of sweeteners in foods these days, none of which am I using as alternatives to sugar - sweeteners such as Aspertame (originally labelled as a poison until someone noticed how sweet it tasted) are hideously bad for you! (online search it).
5) The human body's urge for sugar comes from the necessity for Vitamin C; fruits have known this for a long time which is why they have lovely natural sugars to attract us to eating them. Our sweet tooth is really a craving for vitamins!
6) I have already gone without sugar for a few months and felt amazing. My energy levels were balanced and my diet was healthier. My body became leaner and my sometimes tetchy stomach was much happier.

I think those are pretty good reasons to try the NO SUGAR CHALLENGE for a month. Roll on tomorrow, I know I can do this again! :)

meet Babs

So I've been writing this blog for a few months now and the last couple of blogs have been a little aimless and random - which has kind of been where my head has been at but in my recent revamp of the blog (what do you think?) and creation of a new blog (http://bricksandheels.blogspot.com) I've been inspired again on a couple of topics for this page - my online diary.

Today's blog is about BABS. Babs, as you can see from this photo of her at my 2nd graduation (1 more to come and then I'm DONE, I swear) is one classy lady. She's my mum, and she is such a brilliant character. I am currently staying at her flat in the southeast for a couple of days for a recluse and to fill her fridge for her return.
She wasn't the textbook supernannyesque type mother (I remember her saying to us when I was about 5, in a put-on 'Queen's English' accent, "In the words of Elizabeth Taylor, Bugger Orf") and she never did have the most patience (My sister Emma once refused to eat her sandwich and Babs stabbed her finger into it on every syllable of "you-will-eat-this-bloody-sandwich" and then burst out laughing when Emma relied, in a deadpan tone: "well I'm not eating it now"
But she's done some above-and-beyond things for us girls. She's wicked, dry, hilarious, so sarcastic most southerners read it as just bitter, generous, loving, strong,...but the thing that strikes me so much about her is she's human.
I love Babs, almost as much as Joe does (http://mastdebater87.blogspot.com).

I want more strings

There's a few things I really wish I could do and I think if I list them here I might actually start working towards them: playing guitar ~ play piano ~ knit ~ sew ~ get onto pointe in ballet ~ draw again ~ some kind of yoga-stretching-relaxing thing :)

Frankie says R.E.L.A.X

The photo today is of me and Orah - because I think me and this beautiful dog have something in common (sadly not looks or physique!) - we are both quite outwardly calm looking but dealing with tension in self-destructive ways. Orah is a rescue dog my sister has bravely taken on alongside her young family, and she licks patches of her fur off when left alone. This physical manifestation is an indicator of her inner stress and discomfort. Hopefully she will settle into a loving and structured family unit with my sister's family and this will gradually stop (that, or my sister's smearing disgusting-tasting antibacterial cream on the patches will do it!).
My problems are not so easy - or maybe they are. I am on the look out for stress-beating techniques. The amazing bf is planning on clearing out the roof room as a stress-free zone for me to escape to: I've asked for a yoga matt to meditate (who am I kidding - I might do stretches though). I'm not sure what I am going to do, really - I am popping to mum's tomorrow night after work to spend a day relaxing and maybe working out/seeing my nieces (and possibly Orah too). Then it's back to Bristol to spend Saturday walking 3 gruffs on the beach for our 2 year anniversary. Hopefully those things will help me calm down. The only reason I am looking for ways to relax and calm down because I went to the Dr's again today with my battle with my stomach and she took one look at me and said:

"you need to calm down"

BRISTOL, England

I was driving through Bristol today and it struck me, not for the first time, how much I utterly love Bristol. Here's my list of things I love about Bristol: blue and pink stripes ~ the downs ~ graffiti on Georgian houses ~ water views ~ SS Great Britain ~ toffs ~ fluffy swept over hair ~ pajama-like pants ~ banksy ~ hills ~ university life ~ clifton life ~ POD ~ the Grange ~ Audis ~ Ferraris ~ bars ~ Rahs ~ runners ~ borders...ah, smiles...

The day I aged 10 years in 30 minutes

Jessie at the cricket [photo]
I was in a Dr's waiting room last week; my stomach has been playing merry hell with the stress I've been unsuccessfully dealing with. I saw this guy a mile off: a man in an electronic wheelchair had just managed to break free from his relentless, pointless ramblings and had made off at speed through the automatic doors into sweet freedom. I envied that man, at that moment, as I desperately tried to will myself invisible.
He sat opposite me and as his head turned I realised even if I were a chameleon and had managed to turn myself the primary-school blue of the plastic chair I was sat on it wouldn't have made the tiniest difference: he had the thickest glasses I have ever seen on, which magnified his eyes threefold. This was not a sight for the weak-willed, sensitively-disposed or those struggling with stress with an unpredictable stomach.
I honestly believe these type of patients should be sat in a different area, away from people with stress, depression, or young children.
He started talking; I read my phone. I refused to be sucked into those giant lenses. I texted everyone I knew: come on, ya bastards, reply. He carried on talking: "I'm thinking of going to France this year, I say going - I probably won't. Well, you don't do you: you say you're going to but then you don't. Still, it'd be good to get away". At this point I swallowed my tongue. Yes, it'd be bloody good to get away.
I started reading posters on the wall: incontinence, migraines, testicular cancer: I was riveted.
He didn't stop, I couldn't keep letting him talk to my ear, besides a young fat girl was judging me for being rude (fair enough, I was judging her too) "I've read the Bible have you read the Bible? (I nod, stunned by the goggles) It's a long book. I read the Ten Commandments - it took me ages" But how, with those thick glasses surely you could read not only the fine print but God's thoughts right out of his mind. "I got a Bible with pictures, you know - gave it to my sister. I think I'll buy her a new one this year" (nod) WHY would you buy someone the same present twice? I excused myself to ask the receptionist if there was some delay: my Dr was running late but I was assured I was next. There was no escaping the lenses, I had to go back - but I was buoyed by the fact soon I would be as free as the disabled man before me. I sat down.
"Are you married?" Not a question I could nod to "no" "oh - you look like you'd be married" - I was transfixed. Those milk bottle ends had me: "why's that?" "well you know your age" There was that laugh again; somewhere between a mocking snort and a nervous giggle. I was surprised; no-one has ever said I look married before and I was, I'll admit without any shame, curious. "how old do you think I am?"

You see, this is the point where I went wrong. Never, under any circumstances, it doesn't matter if he's talking to you relentlessly and you feel hideously rude ignoring him or none of your friends who are usually completely reliable in texting you back -don't, nor does it matter that the fat girl is judging you or that you've ran out of pages in the tatty cheap magazine: there is no situation when engaging in conversation with crazy people is a good idea. Ever.

"In your thirties". I was horrified and would've needed oscar-level acting skills to hide it, which I do not have. I rallied with "probably just tired" to which he replied, laughing "yeh".

It's just possible I'll never get that supe'd up gaze out of my head; I'll forever be haunted by that super-charged magnified vision staring straight into every pore and crease in my face. Crazy or not; the man had the hubble telescope strapped to his face and if he says I look ten years older then I believe him.

I had aged 10 years in 30 minutes, but I had a pretty good idea why.

Day 4 of 7

So this is Day 4 of 7 days my Dr signed me off work for stress and I feel, yep, more stressed out than I did when I had a mini-breakdown in the Dr's office. I knew being off work would stress me out, I argued it would. I am going to my mums's on Sunday afternoon and I imagine that'll help. I feel like I have the worst case of cabin fever anyone has ever had without hospitalisation.
I'm not sure what to do with myself and that makes me more stressed. I think I need to get out and about. I think I will up my workouts (even though my body is aching like hell today from the last 2 days helping the bf train for his cricket debut on Sunday).
I did cheer myself slightly yesterday when we went shopping and I got myself a swimming float and some nice workout pants at the sports shop and 3 really beautiful tops from this amazing store on Clifton Triangle that was having a sale. Let the money worries stress me later...
In a mystery move this morning I received a call from my dad at 7.15am which I returned (I was asleep then) but just got answerphone. 3rd call since I was 16 (but who's counting?) so I am perplexed and a little tense it won't be a howdya do type call.
In other news, quite literally, I've started another blog writing satire about local news stories from across the country - you can check it out at http://eobservatory.blogspot.com
I might be biased, but I think it's pretty funny.
I wanted to send out a massive props to my wonder-sister Emma for her stall this year; I really want to go next year, it looks really good fun.
I should also note that the nieces are now writing more legibly than some fully-formed people and have also defied the laws of physics (so proud) and have magically created a living dog from a stuffed toy - true story, just ask Beth.

Simple Star 2010

http://www.simple.co.uk/simple-stars/elliebear.aspx

So today my Dr signed me off for a week from work for stress-related illness. I don't even know where to start in coping or organising my thoughts on the vast list of things which are making my stomach do what it is, but I suppose I have the next 6 days to mull it over. There's nothing like crying on a GP to make you feel embarrassed.

I won't bore you with what's wrong; just know it goes from health issues to money problems and everything in between.

Anyway! I don't like to wallow, and to that end I have entered a competition to win a cool holiday (much needed) and a salaried role (incredibly needed) and this is where you come in - I need your votes (badly)! Please go to the address above and click VOTE FOR THIS STAR and I will be eternally grateful :) I plan on writing a half-decent blog soon...x

Ribbons and Rosemary Beads...

Lots on at the moment - I plan to make a short video this weekend (hopefully) so I'll stick that on then, but until then, here's a collage of my moves at the Ballet...x

SUGAR - HUH! WHAT IS IT GOOD FOR?

Hello :) I have been thinking about how my diet has changed in the past few months and how cutting out sugar (or attempting to) has changed my body and energy, as well as appetite. I've discovered over the past few weeks sugar is added to EVERYTHING. It's even hidden in the places you least expect it, like bread. The thing about sugar is it compels you to eat more - fruit sugars do this to ensure the fruits are repeatedly eaten and the seed is distributed, and likewise, we are programmed to take on sugar (our brains will starve every other vital organ for the last shreds of sugar if you're starving). I would never begrudge my body something healthy and that it needs, so I obviously haven't cut out fruit with its yummy natural sugars - just the processed stuff. To be honest, processed anything is bad news, so I avoid that too. I've decided I am going to make a short video about my diet (as in eating habits, not starvation!) to inspire you :).
You're probably wondering what the photos with this blog have to do with diet - absolutely nothing! These are just 2 photos from our trip to the zoo last weekend :) I am really rather proud of the tiger face one I took...



hehe - his ears are funny.

Just to show how my diet and exercise over the past year has changed me, here's 2 photos from my holidays - the left is 2009 and the right, 2010...

the dress rehearsal...

...it felt good to have something less important to worry about tonight. I had such a depressing start to the week I took the day off tomorrow to try to recover and sort myself out - I really don't like feeling despair and finding myself crying without having had to think about anything in particular (which is how today started). Practice went well on stage, the 2nd run through was much tighter and we've another practice before the final performance...but we'll be practicing every night!

Promises promises...

I promised I'd give you photographic evidence of the duck attack and here it is! I don't think the photo gives the full credit to the viciousness of the attack, hehe.
So today pretty much blowed; (is that too American a term for me to get away with?) I am waiting to hear from work of this "offer" they have for me and I feel like they just don't seem to give a tiny rat's ass (again with the Americanisms) that I live out of a suitcase and am constantly tired because every Friday and Sunday I move house. I watched this fat, igorant, soak of a man at work today and couldn't believe such a useless lard on legs he was and how bitterly unfair it was he is being paid several times my salary. I'm not usually one for looking at other people, I tend to have enough on my plate worrying about me, but I had been reading Dilbert comic strips and am painfully poor (in about 2 months that is going to become a very serious problem for me) and I think I am feeling a bit ansy waiting on the higher management to decide if they're going to throw me a bone or rape me repeatedly for the next few years... anyway! Onto other matters! I did keep up with my workouts on holiday and did another tonight which completely pasted me. I really enjoy knackering myself out. If money were not a problem, I think I would live in Collioure and workout and relax all day long...(I love this photo: it reminds me of lowri)...x

frenchy froggie, froggie frenchy

So I am back from my travels to Colliure on the South coast of France near the Spanish border; I fell in love as soon as I saw the sunrise. Colliure was popular, indeed is popular, with artists for the nature of the natural light. Picasso and Cezanne both visited the small coastal town to take advantage of the soft, watery light. Our hotel was riddled with paintings on every available wall space and the streets each day were lined with artists with their works (and one morning, I came across an artist working on a piece in the street and in his board shorts - I took a photograph which hopefully I can get on here soon). I fell inlove with the place and managed to unwind so much I seriously considered going AWOL when our taxi arrived to take us back to the tin-shack airport.
I couldn't help feeling an immense feeling that Colliure was wasted on me; my sister would've loved to sit on the waterfront and admire the light and le chateau (the big castle - we ventured in and got lost in the dungeons) and watch the french birds (petit sparrows, hauty pigeons and aggressive ducks - more on the ducks later). She wouldv'e pored over the artwork on display. I welled with tears on more than one occassion along the waterfront; heartache Emma wasn't with me and that granddad has gone (I still keep getting hit about the consciousness with that one); but, all-in-all, I am happy. I've returned from Colliure feeling quietly-optimistic anticipation for the future. I am still tentative, because I am not used to good luck and things going my way, but I am hopeful. This feeling comes from meeting my little french friend in the photo for today's blog; I named him woo-ah (phonetic) which is french for woof (why not have the onomatopoeic word?) - he had the most self-assured aura I've ever seen in any animal or person. He was a woof (or woo-ah) about town; homeless and lonesome: he owned Colliure. We met him on the first day and I didn't see him again until we were dragging luggage to the taxi to leave, when he trotted past purposefully without giving me a 2nd glance (or even a first one, despite my delighted squeal at seeing a friend). I endeavour to be like my perm-like friend; always on the paw with absolute conviction.
I promised to return to the ducks, didn't I? Well, I met Mr and Mrs. Duck on the beach whilst I sunbathed and proffered a hand in friendship only to have it quite strongly bitten - I wasn't as surprised as I indicate here: I left my hand in beak long enough to take a photograph. I still found the ducks absolutely endearing. I think anyone french could woo me instantly, biting or no.
It is late now and I have work tomorrow so I will stop there, but there will be more photos and more on Colliure - a most amazing place... x

blog off!

I was talking to my sister the other day: man, learning about EDS is like finding out about the sun "oh really? that's why the plants grow upwards! oh so that's why it's light out during the day - it all makes sense!". At least now I know why my teeth are little and flat and I've lost a lot of enamel - mystery solved (at least it's not that I am hideous at looking after my teeth).
In other news, I cut my hair (well I didn't, Helen the Hairdresser did) and I dyed it dark brown (semi-permanent). I think it looks quite nice :) well, nicer than before anyway - which wouldn't be difficult since I get it cut around every 8 months because I'm a cheapskate.
I started Athletics too which it really good fun and hard work :) I tried long jump (FUN) and now seem to be doing running (not as much fun) but hopefully I'll get to try more stuff soon.
Work have a package to offer me, apparently, but haven't told me how much they'll want to rape me if they help me out - I bet they'll offer to half help me for about 6 years of raping. I don't know what I'll do if it's like that - start applying for other jobs, probably. They have kindly left me speculating for the next week whilst I am in France.
Which leads me on to France! We are setting off today for London and a stay in the Hilton (for the week's free parking) and on Monday we're flying to the South of France for a week of sunbathing and me pestering to go riding :) I haven't really thought about this holiday as anything other than a pain in the ass until today when I woke up thinking "WE'RE GOING TO FRANCE YEY!" Hopefully I will not be thinking about crappy work and the crappity crap that's going on back here.
Well, P&G are setting off today because they're going by train (P doesn't like flying - I LOVE flying) so I have to get dressed and walk Jessie now so she doesn't get upset at them leaving. Honestly, our dogs get more attention and consideration of their emotions than the severely unstable.
See you when I am considerably browner...x

first comes love, then comes...

OK. There were a few guys at my work today chatting near my desk about marriage and how it's showing commitment and how they've moved in with their girlfriend and therefore they'll be getting married soon...HOLD THE PHONE! What is wrong with this picture?(besides the beads of sweat and my mouse hovering over purchasing a one way ticket out of the country)
I know I flick wildly between being totally ready and completely not, but I think when I say ready I mean I can see myself in the future being ready. I am so far off that right now; I am at the start of my career (again) and haven't done any of the travelling and living I want to do before I lose me into an us. I am too selfish to put a family's needs before my own - call that childish, I call it honest and realistic: if I did that now I would resent it and be unhappy.
But most of all, I think I need to know that everything could, and will, change. I need life to be completely unpredictable and the thought of fixing something solid for the rest of my life - to say that would mean that things won't change, can't change.
I need to know things can change, and will change: it's the only thing keeping me smiling. First comes love. Let there be love, for now.

Rebel

I chose this picture to go with this blog because I look like a Tomb Raider wannabe (ready for anything was what I was going for there, although I look kind of sad, in hindsight, which is also sort of fitting). I have been recently feeling like things are going to change in my life and, if I am totally honest, I want things to change - I want to move out and have my own space and independence back; I want to have more control over my career; I want to travel the world; and I want to throw myself at challenges. Every so often (I'd guess at around 6 monthly intervals, although there's no specific timing) I do something fairly dramatic in rebellion against the normality of my life: I become overwhelmed with the ease of day-to-day activities that I feel the urge to change something and make a challenge or a self-defining act. The most recent example of this was, on a frustrated whim about 2 months ago, getting a big tattoo around my right thigh; I'd wanted this tattoo for about a year and had doodled it a couple of times, but I knew the bf didn't want me to get it and it was a big choice when I wasn't 100% sure...then one day in town it was suddenly either cut all my hair off or get the tattoo - so I booked the tattoo (what? I love my hair).
Now I feel an even bigger life-eruption coming, and the dust cloud of my discontent (haha) is already blooming over my international waters (er, what?). I want to move out, have my own space. And work is frustrating me, if they can't help I'll be really tempted to go elsewhere where they might offer me a quicker track to qualification and better money - which would make me a little sad because I enjoy my job and leaving would be a gamble (it doesn't help I've been approached twice this week by people trying to poach me). I wonder what will happen, something big is brewing and I am anxious and slightly worried if it'll be good or bad for me (usually the latter, so understandably worried).
In a nutshell, I don't know what I want, although I don't know what the choices are either...
...it looks like I'll need those fingerless gloves and obliques...

Degar Ballet

In our ballet performance in a few weeks we are doing ballet inspired by Degar; this particular picture is being recreated on stage, all the lights down and just a spotlight on a girl tying her ballet shoe ribbon and then she starts to move and other girls come on stage, tying their hair up and brushing off their dresses and then their ballet class begins with them at the barre.
The bit I am excited about? I got picked to be the girl from the picture! :D

Look!...Textbook!

Sorry I haven't blogged for a little while; I have been very busy and all over the country (in fact, I've only 30 minutes now before I have to dash off, but more about that later).
At the end of last block at college we had a presentation to the managers from around the country and the MD of the entire company - a bit of a contradiction he turned out to be: a pleasant glasweigan with a look of a young Hitler. We were all pretty scared and my stomach went fruit loops on the morning but I got through that and did a good presentation, which my area manager came into and later said my technical answers were excellent, telling me I should consider being an engineer (since I work with him sometimes in my capacity as a commercial student, I am really hoping he wasn't telling me to quit my day job). My review later in the day was pretty much that I'm getting distinctions across the board and to just keep it up - so that's encouraging but I still have a hefty load of work left to do before I finish in November (ready for the degree and a pay rise to just about minimum wage...sigh). Since those last sleep-deprived days at college (in which I found out lack of sleep won't kill you, it'll just make you wish it did) I have been across to see my mum and get a little advice; money is a huge constraint on my life at the moment (I am paid almost nothing. Literally. I'd tell you how much but you wouldn't believe me) and I have taken a risky plunge to ask my work for help paying for accommodation as the bf's family are moving and they're downsizing. I really miss having my own space and my own home and I think my biggest ambition is to claw that independence back. I'll let you know what they say (I'm expecting a "take a hike" response).
The big news from today was I went to see a Pysiotherapist for the first time ever; I don't mind admitting I had no idea what it would entail and I felt like it'd largely be irrelevant to me. How wrong I was. I was there because I have mild Ehlers Danlos Syndrome. I am actually already fed up of people saying "oh so there's nothing wrong with you" because actually there is, I just don't want to admit it - maybe they're doing me a favour with unintentional reverse-psychology. Anyway, in short I've been given just 2 exercises to do (mostly focussing on my spacky shoulders) and then they'll give me more next time I go. I'm glad I went now, and she said I can decide my next appointment so I think after my holiday will be good timing.
This might seem a bit left field, but I wanted to thank my sister at this point, an eds princess - every day she is changing my perspective and teaching me so much (almost too much, I feel like I need a few run ups sometimes) and it is incredible how she knows me better than I know myself. So thank you, Nem - you make me try harder for more.
Bringing it back to today, I (now) have 10 minutes before I need to scoot and get dressed for my first ever Athletics club meeting - H and N are going with me (3 girls :) so hopefully it'll be OK - my right hip is a little sore after the Physio discovered she could pull it out of socket easily so I am hoping that doesn't hurt tomorrow :\ The title of this blog is me quoting my physio talking to her student and pointing at my feet as I sat on the table, and the photo is from the last night at college before going out to celebrate finishing.

Warning: excessive time spent on park benches can lead to introspection

So the other day we were released from college early (I use the term released because it does feel like serving time, only without the satellite TV, video games and good social life) and I decided, since it was sunny, I was going to walk down to the Mersey and sunbathe; I took my copy of The Big Issue with me to read, stuck my headphones in and set out. It was nice on the bench in the sun (even with the boats, ferries, buses, cars, fighter planes and helicopters going back and forth): I sat back and read my magazine and when that finished I found myself laid down dozing. I spent a good 2 hours (plus) on that bench and returned again today but it wasn't as sunny - in fact walking home I got quite wet with big ploppy rain drops (which was equally as lovely as sitting in the sun). I have decided to adopt that bench as my introspection-seat/home if I ever get sacked.
One of the things I thought about, whilst the slightly awkward wooden bench realigned my spine into something resembling a roadkill snake, was how much my character has evolved in the past 10 years or so. Living here with young guys would've driven me round the bend 10 years ago - the kitchen is a constant health hazard and outside my door there is an impressive selection of bottle tops to stand on in my morning haze, not to mention the 4am drunken wake up calls. I am not painting a pretty picture here but, to be honest, I am quite happy. I don't like the mess and the dirt (I just spent a good hour of my Friday night antibacterialising every surface I could find, including walls, and cleaning the week's worth of dishes until my hands aged 60 years) but I am so much more tolerant and patient than my younger self was. I used to be quite firey, irrational, unfair and selfish - now I am more patient, forgiving, tolerant and selfish.
It's good to have something left to work on.

38 days

So I am on Day 38 of the No Sugar stint and once again a fruit smoothie saves the day. I am also on Day 8 of the countdown to going back home - slightly more alarming when you know how much work we've to do before then.
I have an exciting weekend planned with my good Scouser friend C; we're going to tour the Cathedrals of Liverpool during the day and then it's back to the K for shape-making on the night.
Annoyingly I left my digital camera in the Brizzle so I will only have C's camera and my camera on my phone (which is a Nokia and therefore crap) so fingers crossed C brings his camera on our geekfest.
x

American Movie Plots Are Realistic

(Excuse the crap over-exposure on that "Myspace" style photo - Nokia phones have crap cameras...there's no excuse for the pose) I just realised when I said I had nothing to say recently I was talking absolute pap; I actually have an excellent story for you which proves that all those gooey american chick flicks are realistic story lines.
I'll start at the beginning (don't worry, it's not a long story). When I was in secondary school (high school) I had a massive crush on the school's popular guy: he was tall and tanned and fit as hell (who is like that in their teens? not human) and the top sportsman and A* student, everyone's friend...you get the idea. Me and my friend H had this extremely geeky afternoon in class when we doodled a department store with people on different floors depending on how hot they were (he was top floor, we were basement level). He knew I fancied him and he never made fun of me like some other kids did (you have to realise I was a frizzy-haired, freckly geek.
Fast forward to present day and he is now an extremely successful and famous person in his field and I am, well just an older version of me then only now with hair straighteners. So he started talking to me via a popular electronic method (see how I make this annonymous? haha) and he started flirting with me which I quite enjoyed because I am pretty flirty as a person and always enjoy the banter of flirting but then he got a bit blunt, which was a little alarming on a few levels but putting aside infidelity for the moment (ha) HOW COOL IS THAT? The boy you used to fancy, still a total adonis and stupidly intelligent (and on 6 figures, if you're into that kind of thing) fancies you, the geeky frizzy-haired bookish geek. AMERICAN MOVIES ARE ACCURATE. I just thought I should share that with you. I always thought those plot lines were far-fetched but apparently not (although they possibly leave out the unashamed infidelity and guiltless bad behaviour of the protagonist - although that'd make for a better film; perhaps I should write a screenplay)
If you're wondering how the reality series ended, it ended with hysterical laughter at this end between myself and an old school friend I once drew a picture of a department store with...
I've quite enjoyed regressing back to when I was 15 - nice place to visit but you wouldn't want to live there.

flirting with Big Issue sellers

Hello All - it's been a few days, again I've had a stint where I've not really had anything to tell you. Things are busy at college, we've presentations in front of the MD of the entire company next week and we've been told nothing on it so we will be crazily unprepared for it. We had a thing today where a guy from HR came to college and asked us to brainstorm reasons why we work there and what the brand means and, to be honest, I thought it was a little insensitive of them: they asked us how to attract the best employees - all this after yet another wave of redundancies and a merger which left a lot of disgruntled and unhappy employees (changing existing job titles to lower positions, etc). It was a shame it wasn't a forum for feedback, but it's becoming clear that this isn't a company that listens or responds to constructive critism at all.
In other news, I flirted with a Big Issue seller today, not quite sure what came over me.
I completed the 30 Day No Sugar challenge and felt like it was a little too easy, not that it was easy it just wasn't as hard as I thought it'd be, so now I am doing a running total to see how long I can go: it's like running (if you've ever been on a treadmill you'll understand) where you start to struggle but you try to keep going as long as possible...when will it end?

Eddie Izzard gets me through

So here's a photo of my amazing sister (left) and me wearing the EDS shirt after the Hull 10k (I managed to borrow a USB cable from one of the 2nd year boys. A mega day I won't forget in a hurry.
Frankie Boyle just said something funny on Mock The Week: "Do you mind if I leave early? I have to pick up the kids...before their parents arrive". Haha - classic. I have been craving comedy this week, watching Eddie Izzard DVDs to amuse me on an evening.
It's been a funny start to the week (and not ha-ha funny, apart from where I injected it with comedy) with crappy lessons and the inevitable dread of the sheer volume of work we have to complete within a week and a half, it's been a bit of a downer. I can't really even look forward to going back to Bristol yet because I have a mega long drive ahead of me. It won't be until I am driving past Cheltenham that I will start to get excited.
Even worse, our Project Manager (aged 18) was dumped by his girlfriend and has been mentally elsewhere for ages now, deciding getting hammered before working together was a good idea (annoying). He keeps saying he wanted kids with her and marriage more than anything and I said "you're only 18!" and he was resolute so I said "it's a lesson in life then - be more independent, you're not going to be with someone from day 1 to the end of your life" - so Jammy slated me for being negative. I didn't think that was negative, my mum taught me that (admittedly it sounded a little bleak to me too at first); with a little thought, I think it is a massively important piece of advice. You should be independent - doesn't mean you can't love the people with you when they are and appreciate every minute, it just means when they're gone you're not left completely lost. Maybe I go too far the other way, and am fiercely independent (the poor bf) but I think if you invest 100% in someone you can still be independent and realistic. I don't think that these are mutually exclusive.
Anyway, Day 28 of the No Sugar Challenge (2 days left) - I still can't decide if I am going to gorge on maltesers or just keep going and see how long I can go.
Day 18 of the countdown (can't really enjoy this now we have so much work)

I made a promise today, my friend Sammy is applying to do the law conversion in Bristol and I said I'd move in with her if she's accepted. Fingers crossed I actually earn enough...

Hull 10k for EDS Support Group

Hello Guys, I've not blogged recently because I've had nothing interesting to tell you about but now I do! Today was the Hull 10k and I had yet another brilliant weekend in Hull - I turned up at my dad's work, having not seen him for 5 years and we had the best couple of days. I also saw friends and my hero and sister Emma but the absolute best bit was finishing the Hull 10k and a couple of my friends being there and most importantly Emma there to see and celebrate :o) It was so hard for her to get there and I know she'll be suffering tonight and undoubtedly tomorrow for it but she was there and it made all the agonising, sweaty, heat-stroke ridden sleep-deprived (3 1/2 hours...that'll teach me to hang out with friends before an event) steps around Hull totally worth it. I even got a bit choked up before I started, and every time I was dying to walk I'd think of Emma and the few times I did walk I silently apologised to her in my head - in the end I came 1981 of 5000, which is fairly respectable considering it was a heat wave and I started right at the back :o) I'll know next time to wriggle right to the front. What a day. I still can't get my photos on here until next weekend when I finally mission back South to see the bf, but I'll definitely get them on then (something to look forward to).
In other news, still holding out on the No Sugar Challenge - Day 26 now and it's a bit irritating when you're starving hungry, sugar is just what you crave.
My other day counter is the one counting down to going home from L'town - Day 20 today if you're following :o) No time at all :o)
The photo on this post I took this afternoon of the Humber Bridge: this bridge makes me squeal because it's the first real big sight of Hull, but there's so much more to this structure. When it was built, in 1981 (that's right, same number as what I came in the race), it was the world's longest suspension bridge - and remained so for 17 years. It has anchors weighing almost half a million tonnes and the cable is 30,000 miles long (which, to put that into context for you, could almost wrap around the world twice). The cabling is being replaced currently, by a local company from Barton-on-Humber (you can see the little units on the cable). I've walked halfway over the Humber Bridge (it's a mile and a quarter long) and that thing MOVES, so I can't imagine working on the cables! Those guys are heroes.
Over and Out!

Day 20 and Day 26

(Me and C in the K this weekend)

So I have two counters going at the moment: the No Sugar Challenge counting up (Day 20 of 30 today and the maltesers are in sight) and Day 26 of 30 counting down to finishing the first year of college (a delectable if minscule raise is in sight).
The No Sugar challenge was really difficult at the Aquarium, there were loads of sweets around and it was one of those special occasions where normally you'd be allowed a treat. Then yesterday, mooching around not doing much was another time you fancy a nibble of something just for the taste - but I got through the weekend, eating fruit when I really needed it. My bf sent me a link to an article online about how our sweet tooth is to encourage us to eat fruit for the Vitamin C - it was interesting, I have Vit C tablets and I wonder if this is why I haven't struggled as much as I thought I might.
The countdown to finishing college isn't going badly at all apart from that I am very conscious that I've not really done much work and my team doesn't seem to be doing very well. Each block we have a different team leader and this one I thought would naturally be very good as he commands a lot of respect but he doesn't seem to have taken the role on at all. Perhaps I should pick myself up and get on with study and stop being so lazy!
I think tonight I will make a workout for the boys (all those times seeing me all sweaty and knackered has guilted them) and then go for a run, before my online date with the bf to watch The Mentalist :o) - since we live apart for the next 26 days, we meet for little online dates to watch programmes we watch together, together, cute eh?

what are you waiting for, a certain shade of green?

My first weekend in L'town and I had fun (I am considering the weekend over already as today is a write-off, with only studying and taxi'ing the boys to Asda on the cards). Yesterday me and C had a really fun day: we went to the Aquarium and saw the divers feeding the fish in the shark tank and took lots of photos (none of which I can show you as I don't have a USB cable for the digital camera with me). On the night we went to the K and even though none of C's friends were about to come with us we still had a really fun night :o) C is my friend I met back home about 7 years ago when he was there for uni, we knew each other from rock nights and rather fortunately we kept in touch so when I started coming to his hometown for college he rather cooly took on the task of showing me the city and meeting me for weekends :) I love old friends.
It was a good night, a couple of very attractive boys (children) tried staring at me obviously for ages which made me laugh and pray they didn't come and try to chat me up and force me to tell them I'm 10 years older than them haha. One guy scooped me up around my waist and told me I was the most beautiful girl and then said have a good night and disappeared as quickly as he appeared, leaving me shouting thanks at his back - I love that spirit in rock clubs; the people are the best. We also saw a chicken fillet on the floor and C said somewhere in here there's a very drunk girl with a very wonky chest haha, oh dear.
Now I need to crack on with work and make sure I don't waste today as I've another full week and then off to Hull for a visit and the Hull 10k - exciting weekend ahead!

Flamin' Tea Towels, Spank!

So the other day I was cooking my dinner (which involved warming up an amazing sausage and lentil meal the bf's mum made me and boiling sweet potato to make mash); I had just finished on the hob and was mishing up the sp with a fork and I thought I could smell something burning and I turn around to see a tea towel someone had hung off the extractor fan had fallen onto the hob (which was off, but boiling hot) and was smouldering with serious smoke pluming off it. I grabbed it quickly and my first sensible instinct, to plunge it into the manky dish water, was overriden by my second, irrational instinct which said to get it to the window as the smoke was really noxious. So i flailed past my bewildered housemates and half hung it out the window. For a couple of silent moments we all stared at the towel as the additional oxygen fed the embers and caused flames to lick up. Suddenly J started forward and flipped the whole tea towel out the window: we all became hysterical. It was now a sun for the tiny animals living in the grass, flames licking in the wind and even more awful smelly smoke. We enjoyed the hysteria after a near-miss of a flame-grilled death, until we clocked the security man coming over, when we promptly legged it to our prospective rooms.
That was yesterday, I offered to replace Spank's tea towel but he said it was OK. Today G somehow locked himself out of his room and after 20 minutes of a maintenance man trying to get into Gary's room, jiggling the lock, he admitted defeat and the human tank that is Spank was brought in to kick the door down. G has had to move his stuff into Spank's room over the weekend whilst Spank's at home.
It's all excitement and drama here at AP. I am in good spirits as H, our teacher, rather generously let us all leave at half 1 today (friday) rather than at 5pm so it meant everyone could leave early and I could do a workout - I missed yesterday's because I was up until 2am doing a maths homework test thing. You wouldn't know I was 26 would you? I'm living an 18 year old life (going out tomorrow night in beachwear fancy dress to a rock night, as you do. No pole dancing this time though but I can't promise not to try the surf machine). I can't prove it, but I'm really not having a mid-twenties crisis, this is just where my life has took me, although I have to say, I am enjoying it. I went to see Robin Hood with D, G, Dolph, Spank and T in the week and I wore shorts and a hoodie with my little shoulder pouch bag thing and the boys said I was turning heads everywhere and 2 cars nearly crashed - it was so funny, I never saw anything (maybe they were having me on) but as my 17 year old friend G said, whilst you've got it (thanks, G: I think you mean if you've got it).
In training for the Hull 10k I went for a 9pm run after cinema (before dinner too...don't ever take me as the way to do it) for a quick 4 miler and man it felt so good. I plan to run again this weekend hopefully around 6 or 7 miles then another mid-week short run then it'll be the big event!
Speaking of EDS, I woke up this week and hobbled awkwardly into the shower (no time is wasted in a morning for me - it's upright and showering within a minute). By the time I was walking to college my hip was achey like a bruise: this isn't especially unusual until I realised this is unusual - just not to me. It's not normal to pop a joint out and have half a day (I'm intensely lucky it's not that bad for me) being a bit bruised and uncomfortable. Actually that's not entirely truthful, it's sore today. Anyway, yeh. Smacked in the face with reality a little bit but apparently I am super lucky I have a strong core which makes it not so bad for me (at least I choose to believe I have some control) and to that end, I have just received my door frame pull up bar for my workouts! It's brilliant :o)
Tonight I am going to do some project work and get an early one because tomorrow is my day of C-adventures :o)

scouseland

Sorry it has been a few days since I wrote a blog, I've not had a great deal to write about. Today I just wanted to tell you about the past few days and update you on my sugar challenge.
I am in the north for 5 weeks for a college block my work send me on so it's pretty dull here (unless you want to know what it's like living with teenage boys - trust me on this, you don't) but when I see my scousefriend Chris this weekend I'll hopefully have much more exciting adventures to tell you about. We might be going to The Krazyhouse this weekend for a Beach themed party (why didn't I pack my bikini when going up north in May? Clearly it would be needed...) and maybe the aquarium during the day since I have the car with me too :o)
On the 28th April I started a No Sugar Challenge (inspired by Zuzana on bodyrock.tv) and now I am on Day 15 of 30 and I feel fine. To be honest, I think if I get to 30 days, I am going to try to keep going and see how long I can last. I am really quite surprised by my own willpower, I would've thought it would be much harder.
Oooh! I just saw the new Gorillaz song and the video has Bruce Willis in: is it just me or does he not just get more attractive as he gets older? I am looking forward to Die Hard 5 :o)

my bum has never felt so big

So I am back in the 'pool. The photo today is from my adventures here last block (hopefully this time will be less eventful!) The drive wasn't too bad; the traffic was pretty slow a couple of times and the head cold made it a bit of a slog but a man in a Megane made it fun because we were chasing each other around the traffic.
I just thought I'd tell you a funny thing I did: at my sister's house yesterday I went to the loo and I didn't realise they had one of those seats for the little baby girls and I didn't lift it up so I ended up sat on a baby toilet seat. My bum has never felt so big.

Day 11 and the snot has cometh

Well today was always going to be tiring but I woke up today with a sore throat and by the afternoon I had a full-blown head cold. The big shop in tescos hurt more than my bank balance (although I do enjoy getting food - I horde food like a squirrel, the bf always makes fun of me for it)and then it was a drive across to attend a wild party (my nieces' 4th birthday). I was barely awake driving there and cut a deal with the bf: he'd drive home if he could listen to the twenty20 cricket.
I'll tell you what, I had been finding this no-sugar challenge too easy until today; never go to a birthday party shunning sugar - it's worse than chinese water torture. The heavy head didn't improve matters either, I fully felt sorry for myself and couldn't ease the pain with a cupcake. I always eat junk when I'm ill; it's how I get better and this is the third time in so many days I've needed self-pity-sugar (as I'm coming to think of it) and haven't caved. The real test starts tomorrow when I will arrive in another city for college and have to stay 5 weeks with a little convenient shop filled to the roof with handy little treats about 30 seconds from the privacy of my bedroom - ideal for hidden munchings guilt-free. GAH! It's going to be hell.
I have tried to prepare: I've got rice cakes (polystyrene), fruit, lots of books to read. I am taking a TV, despite my resolution returning home after the last stint swearing blind I won't bother taking one again (3 floors up with a TV is not easy to move on your own).
I think it's time for bed. I am trying very hard not to think about missing the bf: you haven't seen him yet so I've attached this photo of him emerging, bond-like, from the sea in the South of France last summer...who needs sugar?