first comes love, then comes...

OK. There were a few guys at my work today chatting near my desk about marriage and how it's showing commitment and how they've moved in with their girlfriend and therefore they'll be getting married soon...HOLD THE PHONE! What is wrong with this picture?(besides the beads of sweat and my mouse hovering over purchasing a one way ticket out of the country)
I know I flick wildly between being totally ready and completely not, but I think when I say ready I mean I can see myself in the future being ready. I am so far off that right now; I am at the start of my career (again) and haven't done any of the travelling and living I want to do before I lose me into an us. I am too selfish to put a family's needs before my own - call that childish, I call it honest and realistic: if I did that now I would resent it and be unhappy.
But most of all, I think I need to know that everything could, and will, change. I need life to be completely unpredictable and the thought of fixing something solid for the rest of my life - to say that would mean that things won't change, can't change.
I need to know things can change, and will change: it's the only thing keeping me smiling. First comes love. Let there be love, for now.