When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's Relativity.

That title is a quote from a great man, Albert Einstein and that photo is a picture of another great (perhaps in a different sense) man called Joe: both of them describing relativity :o)

Evening! I had a weird day today. I had to tie up a lot of loose ends before I pack up this weekend and move north for 5 weeks for the final block of college. Work was quiet and when I got home I had a swollen tummy and, looking in the mirror, I consciously relaxed my tummy muscles and I swear it looked like I was pregnant. I did that classic pose with the hands stroking the tummy and it felt eerily real; for a couple of seconds I knew what it'd feel like. Very surreal! These are the bizarre kinds of daydreams I have when I've not had enough mental stimulation for the day - good job the bf wasn't home to see me doing that, he would've thought I actually was (or worse, told our friends and made fun of me). Fear not though, another workout tonight and my tummy has flattened out again: no mini-me danger here!

Casual day at work tomorrow...I suspect I'll end up in my scruffy jeans with the hole in the knee despite the email banning holey jeans, shorts and (weirdly) string vests. Then tomorrow night the bf is taking me for a meal in my new super nice dress (makes me feel like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman) so I am looking forward to being treated :o)

On a final slightly sad note, I noticed I lost a follower (you notice these things when you only have 4 or 5 and one of them is yourself which you did by accident and don't know how to delete it) - I hope it wasn't something I said :o\

tattoo your name across my heart

I have had the most amazing day :) (photo from another amazing day last year walking RSPCA dogs). I haven't mentioned (I don't think) but I am running the Hull 10k for EDS Support Group on May 23rd and I took my sponsorship form to work today. I was really embarrassed about asking people and I didn't want them to feel they had to sponsor me but Dan, my mentor, said to bring it to him first and he'd put a big amount down and everyone else would follow. He was right! Everyone sponsored me - the biggest being £20 and that wasn't even Dan's! There was hardly anyone in the office and I've already raised £163.20 :o) My family have sponsorship forms too and they're going to collect some in their prospective cities too so I am hoping in a couple of weeks I'll have a fair whack :o) I am really excited to get my EDS support group T-shirt too :o) I am going to wear it on every run I go on, every mile I ever tread...unless it's sweaty from the last workout, obviously.

So tonight I needed to pop to Tesco for bread; I've never mentioned before but I am a bit special (haha, no seriously) and am intolerant to several foods which are fairly central to the western world's diet: wheat, corn, oats, yeast, diary, chocolate, sugar. I have to get special bread (rye or spelt - it has some wheat and yeast but I only need to avoid it not completely cut it out if I can't) and I asked the bakery woman because there wasn't any of the usual bread I got. She was totally brilliant and took me to the selection of Polish breads which have less wheat, asking if I was allergic or if it was intolerance and she told me the aisle the totally wheat free stuff was (which I already knew, but she was so thorough!)She must've spent at least 5 minutes with me. Honestly, I was unbelievably knocked off my feet; it's just not what you expect from Tesco. I said "thank you so much, I really appreciate your help" and I hope she took that genuinely because I am still delighted :o) I'm trying the Polish bread, btw.

So, bouyed on by this fulfilling and Disney-style day I've had, I feel more ready to tell you what has been on my mind recently: I have a few things wrong with me (who hasn't?) such as being partially deaf and food intolerances, but recently I was diagnosed with something new (well, new to me). I've hesitated to mention it because I've not really told anyone in my day-to-day life, but it probably won't come as much of a shock from my blogs: I've Type 3 EDS. It's mild, but a very close relative I love to bits has a severe form and it's all been a bit of an emotional rollercoaster. I tend to be ashamed of things like this, embarrassed at the focus. I don't like people to look at me and see me a certain way. I hate to show weakness or, dare I say it, imperfectness (I think I just created a word). With EDS I feel a bit of a fraud because I have it in a mild form and so just don't suffer like my relative does, but on the upside it means I can do things like the Hull 10k. In keeping with this amazing day, I told my relative how I felt and they wrote this response to me which blew me away a little bit (I should've put a warning on how bluebirds and singing this was going to be):
"Well, Severety (sp?) isnt the issue, it's a thing that definately affects your life, you have to be super careful not to hurt yourself, you have to be informed without panicing yourself about the what if's, you have a close family member who is very sick with the same illness which is upsetting and scary at the same time... anyone with their head on straight can see that's a burden to bear and I'm super proud of you that you are channeling your feelings about it all into such a possitive and constructive path. I was honestly in abit of a panic when you got diagnosed as I already knew it was true but I was scared of how you would react.. and I appologise for that cos you're doing everyone proud :D And you can quote me on that on your blog (if you can stomach my poor grammar and spelling dirtying it up lol) Love you Little 'Un xx"
And on that note, I'm having a night off from exercise and spending some extra time with the bf :o) x

sugar day 8 and begging for money

The photo today is from our trip to Exmoor earlier this year :o)
Today was hard at work, after the long bank holiday weekend, trying to resist the sweets and biscuits at the front desk and ignoring the sandwich man at half 10. The banana and apple snacks either side of lunch just don't seem like enough when you're missing the instant energy high of sugar but I managed another day.
I have decided to sign up for the Hull 10k to run for the EDS charity EDS support and I emailed everyone in the office at work for sponsorship; if I'm honest I'm really nervous noone will sponsor me and everyone will hate me for even asking. I'm so apologetic about it I should be more fund-raisery. I'll force it on more people tomorrow.
Tonight I took the dogs on a 2.5 mile jog (it's just not a run when you have to stop repeatedly for the mutts) to Hannah's for a workout and dinner. The workout was happily short but agonisingly achey. Dinner was yummy :o) I think Han really enjoyed having Jessie the sleepy dog to cuddle and I definitely liked having Moey on my chest snuggled down all warm. I really enjoyed it but now I better scoot to bed.
There's something I really want to talk to you about, but I can't seem to make myself just yet.
Ellie x

exhaustion with no added sugar

So I am wrapped up in my ultra-furry blanket again. After I wrote my blog last night I climbed three flights of stairs almost on all fours, scrambled into bed, ate dinner on a tray in bed and then collapsed down and passed out at half 8 at night. I must've been totally exhausted and to be honest, I still am. Today I felt really tired and weak so I tested myself with a dog walk and felt strong so I did a workout. I can barely lift my arms now. We're going to make dinner and then put my pajamas on and mooch for the rest of the evening :o) In a nutshell, today has been the absolutely worst day for the sugar ban: when I am feeling ill I always eat absolute junk. My alternative was a super-thick smoothie the lovely bf made me :o)
PS photo of me working at the lake at the horse trials yesterday, badminton house in the background :o)

"Yup. I've no Thorasic Flexibility"

That title is a quote by my bf just now - it just amused me so I used it. The last blog's title is a quote from just about everyone from the XC "this course asks a lot of questions" "this part of the course asks a lot of hard questions" "and how was your ride around?" "well, there were a lot of questions, fast"

The dressage on Saturday was truly spectacular; held in the main arena with everyone viewing in the grandstands...apart from me, obviously, I was in the arena in the media circle. This meant views like the above picture. And when it came to the lunch break, when all the fat-cat photographers bundled off towards their 3 course dinner (I heard all about it on their return) I stuck it out for the highlight of the day for me (and for everyone else judging by the grandstands being utterly packed): Carl Hester's dressage display. If you're not from the UK and not from the horsey set, you've no idea how exciting that is, but to put it in perspective - 21 years ago when I was a saucer-eyed 5 year old I had posters on my wall of Carl Hester (as well as a fair few other riders at badminton this year). I ended up being the only person in the arena with Mr. Hester (his two horses, and a rider he brought with him to demonstrate dressage skill which, quite frankly, blew the competitive horses out of the water). It really was excellent and, as last year, he had everyone laughing. For me, I couldn't help nursing a smug warmth that about 2000 women were all secretly wishing they were stood where I was. (sympathy zero: in your face)
Another excellent Badminton. I can't believe I used to watch this event religiously on TV for 20 years and now I've been able to go twice on a media pass, being in the thick of the action. A very special thanks has to go to big-G, who just makes this all so effortless.

"a lot of questions, fast"

I survived Badminton cross country 2010 (they should sell t-shirts with that on) and am now home, wrapped in the biggest, warmest furry blanket you've ever seen. I'm snuffling and curled around a box of tissues after coming home with a cold after (I suspect it was her) a young clueless child of a girl coughed in my face yesterday at the dressage; it makes me feel so old to say it - but I despair about youngsters today: they are so utterly and completely clueless. If only I had realised as a frustrated teen that the reason I was treated like a stupid child is because I was one.
So the cross country, on the Sunday for the first time in Badminton's history, was a wet, cold and windy day - miserable! I knew it'd be just so when I woke up at 6.10am this morning for a painfully early shower and saw mother nature was already having one. Cars were already wheel-spinning as we pulled into the media car park (next to the fully heated media centre with alcohol, food, hot drinks and screens following events on tap for free...it's a wonder any photographers even bother going out onto the course, but then they do have special media cars to drop them off. I refused the kind offer; I felt I should slum it with the average joe rich kids). So the day kicked off with the shetland grand national: my personal highlight was one pony unseating his rider by rearing up as they set off. Shetlands are like the clowns of the horse world: laurel and hardy comedy with a certain not-so-funny side to them.
And then there was a presentation by the world horse welfare (WHW), formerly the ILPH (International League for the Protection of Horses) - When I entered their expensive raffle to win a new mitsubishi, I asked the volunteer lady why they changed their name and she responded "because ILPH didn't really say who we are" -baffling, because it did, but I won't argue because they don't sound like the johovah's witnesses of the equine charity circuit anymore, which can only be a good thing. The presentation made me cry, by the way; I am always on the cusp of emotional tears at Badminton and sob stories about ponies with horrific eye injuries is bound to tip me over the edge.
Then the XC kicked off and we decided to walk the course backwards, so the horses would be coming towards us (otherwise you get the unsettling sensation that they're going to run you down, a bit like if you walk on a road in the direction of the traffic). Out of the first 6 horses, only 1 finished. We stuck around for 1 or 2 horses per jump (apart from at the lake, when Thom went in search of toilets - I'd been able to use the fence judge's personal loo. You have to love priveleges when you're in a boggy field with about 600 people queing for 6 portaloos and you can stroll up to one behind a thin white rope). Whilst Thom qued with the masses, I chatted to the photographers I kept bumping in to - both lovely guys who were really genuine and friendly (one from the chronical in Bath) and their friend who really generously gave me a hand warmer after taking pity on me. Apparently I looked as cold as I was. The weather was, after relenting for a while, starting to look a bit on the threatening side again so I waited for Zara Phillips (Royalty, if you've been living under a rock for the past 20 years) to jump and then decided that was enough for me. I did want to see her clear through the water though, after she pulled up right beforehand last year I was really rooting for her (not as much as I am rooting for Mary King and William Fox Pitt, though - me and the bf entered a free media competition to guess the winner COME ON MACCHIATO!)
So now I am home, cold and barely awake but I couldn't wait to upload the photos and share my day with you. I just realised I didn't share my dressage story with you either so I shall pick a great photo to go with it and write a (much shorter!) blog about yesterday... x

Politics... does what it says on the tin

I've started this morning's blog with a photo I took from last year's Badminton Horse Trials to get you (and me) in the mood for this year's event, but what I really want to talk about is politics.
Heavy topic for a Saturday morning - which was my bf's thoughts when I bundled into bed with him this morning to tell him all about it.
The other night we were watching the final of three televised debates in the UK between the three leaders of our biggest political parties: labour (currently in power), conservatives and the lib dems (who've not had a shot in years). The topic moved on to immigration and the conservatives talked about their manifesto and how they planned to cap immigration into this country - the other two said he couldn't promise this, and that it was misleading (which is true, only 20% of immigrants to the UK come from outside the EU so 80% would be unaffected by the cap) and in response david cameron (conservative idiot) said to control the rest he'd introduce EU filtering to control EU resident immigration - this wasn't challenged by either of the other two and this surprised and annoyed me: this wasn't a promise he could honour; the free movement of workers within the EU is a key fundamental characteristic of the EU and is completely necessary for the whole concept to work and idiot cameron was promising that even if it were possible, which it is not, that the UK could make that decision - it can't! We don't even have 2 votes in the EU anymore, we've one - like everyone else. The EU was started a long time ago as the EEC, the purpose being to share steel and coal markets because if you want war you need coal and steel so if everyone shares the same sources no-one can prepare for war without anyone else knowing. And for idiot cameron to affirm the population's fears about immigration, re-enforcing this apparent feeling that people are unwelcome here unless they're british, he is creating an opinion in people's minds that this is right. It's not right! It's completely flying in the face of what the EU stands for and the whole ideology: to prevent war and in group/out group mentalities. Idiot cameron wasn't offering the people what they want, he was feeding their fear, and as a extremely wise little green man once said: fear leads to hate, and hate leads to suffering.
If you're not from the UK, you won't be familiar with the requirement that if you mention one party you have to mention there are other parties too - to avoid (ironically) showing a preference for one, so in that spirit: there are other idiots, idiot brown and idiot clegg and a whole host of other idiots. I voted for idiot clegg, because I actually suspect he's the least idiotic of them all.

All of this came to me because yesterday I stopped my car to let a lady cross who was from another race and religion and she turned to me and did the biggest, warmest smile and thank you and it made me so ecstatic, and I thought how nice it was and how others from her background are normally so unfriendly and rude; and it hit me, maybe they're not rude - maybe they feel hostility towards them because people fear them. Everyone is just afraid. And to me, this is a very tentative position to be in.